Stretching

I've been being stretched lately.

Yup. Really really stretched.

Sometimes stretching doesn't feel great.

When we were deciding whether or not to put an offer in on this house, we fasted. I was playing for a choir rehearsal and arguing with the Lord in my head (and we all know how well arguing with God goes) about why moving to this new house was a really bad idea.

At one point I told Him, "I am COMFORTABLE here," and added all kinds of evidence supporting my argument.

And the Holy Ghost said to me, "It is time for you to not be comfortable."

That kind of shut me up. For a while.

And guess what? I have been very very uncomfortable. I have been changed. I have been through more than one refiner's fire of varying intensities. I'm not sure what the end result will be, but I know the process HURTS.

While I traveled to California (ALONE) last week, I had some time to read and think and meditate. I reread this CS Lewis quote which rang with so much truth:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Now, I'm not saying I'm getting anywhere close to a palace. I'm more like a broken-down garage with cracked windows and a shifting foundation. But I understand the feeling of being changed in a way that hurts abominably and not being sure what God is really planning.

And then I found this:

Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see proverbs 3:11-12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain . . . Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love.

Richard G. Scott, "Trust in the Lord," Ensign, November 1995

So I'm learning. I'm being stretched. I don't love being stretched. But I trust the One doing the stretching. And for now, I hope that's enough.