Tender Mercies

I love Elder Bednar's talk on the Lord's care for us, shown through his tender mercies. It spoke to me the first time I heard it, and I still love it. I've often had experiences just as Elder Bednar described in his talk, where the spirit has testified to me through small happenings that I am known to God, that He cares for me and that He has a stake in my daily life.

Elder Bednar puts it this way:

Since last October I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase "the tender mercies of the Lord." Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits "his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men" (D&C 46:15).

As I indicated earlier, the Lord's tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness, obedience, and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord's timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings.

This month, I had a rather remarkable experience that represented to me again the Lord's care for each of us. I began preparing for a solo piano recital in January. The recital theme was "Dedication" and I dedicated pieces to each of my children, my parents, and my husband. I practiced these eight pieces until the memory was solid a month before the recital date. I wanted no danger of memory slips during the performance, especially since this was my first long memorized performance in more than 10 years, and it all felt rather scary.

When I first put together the program, I considered learning a piece for my mother-in-law, but it kept kind of slipping my mind, and although I kept coming back to it, even asking her which piece she'd like me to learn, I never went anywhere with it. She never told me a piece, and it just never happened.

Then, the day before the recital I started practicing for the day and had a very strong impression that I needed to perform a specific piece for my mother-in-law. It's a piece I learned for my senior recital (which was, I am sad to say, more than 15 years ago). She had loved it then, but I hadn't performed it since. I ignored the feeling for a while until I realized that it was more than a passing idea, it was actually a prompting. The idea of relearning, memorizing, and performing a piece in 24 hours was daunting, and more than a little terrifying, but I decided to go with it and see where it took me.

The relearning was EASY, the re-memorizing was EASY. As it all came together, I understood that the spirit was flooding my mind with knowledge, and that my own abilities were being magnified for God's purposes. I had the piece in my head in about an hour. It felt crazy, but right.

The next evening, I performed her piece. I wondered before the recital began if I were just a little bit nuts (ummm...Yes.), but it went beautifully. I felt the spirit confirm to me that it was divinely determined that I should play that piece, and again, I felt the magnification of my own memory, my own mind.

I had prayed as I prepared this recital that it would be something that Heavenly Father could use for His own purposes, that I could just be an instrument in His hands. Playing Chopin for my mother-in-law was one of the ways He answered that prayer.

(And she loved it. It meant something important to her, and to me. I think the tender mercy of the Lord that night was both for me AND for her. She doesn't know how to use the internet, so I think the secret is safe that I didn't really learn her piece until the day before. Shhh. Don't tell.)

Taking Offense

I found this quote in the comments section in the Segullah blog (I love Segullah.) Taking and giving offense has been on my mind for the last few weeks, and I loved loved loved this quote. (I know Clayne Robison from my time in the school of music at BYU, and his father, an incredibly sweet man, happened to be in my parents' ward.)

Clayne Robinson, a BYU music professor, wrote: “I tell my children that if I had to choose between a world in which no one ever gave offence and a world in which no one ever took offence, I would certainly choose the latter. A heaven filled with people tiptoeing around so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings sounds like hell to me. I’m not sure anything valuable would get done. But to be surrounded by people who chose never to be offended by mistakes, or miscalculations, or vigorous growing pains, or rough hewn ways, sounds like heaven indeed.”!

I have sometimes given offense to people that I love deeply, never intentionally. It is a hard place to be, knowing that you've caused pain, and wishing desperately not to have done so. The blessing of the Atonement is that it covers these unintentional offenses as well as sin caused with open eyes, and I can only hope that those I've hurt can turn to Christ's gift to us to be healed from this pain, along with all other suffering. And when I'm the one that is suffering from someone's unintentional hurt, I hope I can remember the same thing. We're all here treading the same earth, and I truly believe most of us are trying to do our best. I hope we can all choose to give each other the benefit of the doubt and love each other despite our weaknesses. It's what Heavenly Father asks of us, to love each other as He loves us. Not an easy endeavor...

Times and Seasons

You can read it here.

"Living with Others in Peace and Harmony"

That's the title of this week's Relief Society lesson. I hit pay dirt! This lesson teaches itself.

I love that it emphasizes that Joseph Smith taught tolerance, love, and peace. He taught us to show the utmost respect to those of different faiths, to be Christlike in our love for others, and to build each other up rather than tear each other down.

One great quote:

"We will...cultivate peace and friendship with all, mind our own business, and come off with flying colors, respected, because, in respecting others, we respect ourselves."

Fantastic. Don't you wish that quote was memorized and lived by every member of the church?

Here's the lesson, if you're interested.

The Pathway of Discipleship

Some of the time while I run, I listen to talks I download from the podcast LDS Voices. While I was in California, I listened to a beautiful and rich talk by Elder Maxwell that he gave at BYU about 10 years ago, The Pathway of Discipleship. Here are the opening paragraphs:

"When striving disciples reflect deeply upon this mortal experience, it becomes clear that we are all immortal individuals whose ever-present challenge is to apply immortal principles to life’s constantly changing situations. With this perspective, we can improve our daily performances because we fix our gaze on eternity and its great realities.

Though we share immortality, our individual traits, talents, trials, opportunities, and circumstances vary widely. Even so, whatever the particular, passing mortal situation, all of the individuals involved are immortals with immense possibilities. C. S. Lewis put this so well when he said: “It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit” (The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses [1980], 19).

It is a profound thought."

I have loved that CS Lewis quote ever since I first ran across it a few years ago. It resonates with me and reminds me of the worth of each of the people I know, and those I don't.

Another beautiful quote:

"Mercifully, when we make mistakes we can recover and learn from them by “faith unto repentance.” We cannot, of course, relive a particular moment in our lives, but we can use it as a spiritual spur to remake ourselves. We need not let yesterday hold tomorrow hostage.

It is for each of us as immortals to make of these moments in daily life that which eternal principles would have us do. We as Church members have a tremendous challenge in being equal to our theology and our opportunity. We fall short. If we stumble, let us arise and continue the climb. The Lord will bless us because we are possessed of truths about “things as they really are, and … things as they really will be” (Jacob 4:13). These truths beckon us, even in our imperfections, to be better. "

I miss Elder Maxwell. His words have inspired me many times.

Celestial Music

I just found a poem: Celestial Music, by Louise Gluck. I like the entire poem, but the first stanza especially struck me.

I have a friend who still believes in heaven.
Not a stupid person, yet with all she knows, she literally talks to God.
She thinks someone listens in heaven.
On earth she's unusually competent.
Brave too, able to face unpleasantness.

Despite all my questionings, my sometimes wayward heart, I will admit to still believing in heaven, to literally talking to God. He has graced me with the faith I need to face unpleasantness, to find peace in a life that can be chaotic. What a blessing, what a gift.

She's telling me that when you love the world you hear celestial music:
Look up, she says.

Yes yes yes.

Here's the full poem. It's lovely.

Joy in the Journey

"I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."
-President Thomas S. Monson

I'm working on this. Some days I have it down, and life is full of bliss on those days. Some days I can't wait for things to be better, for a trial to pass, for a goal to be met. Life's not so happy then. I get sidetracked so easily from what I am to do in this life. I know the Lord has beauty in store for me. He's shown me that again and again. I don't know why sometimes it's hard to trust His plan, when I can see His hand, His guidance, His direction in ALL of my life.

One thing has been made abundantly clear to me. Suffering is part of the journey in full measure with joy. When the suffering is so intense that I think I cannot bear it, not one more minute, not one more second, I am sometimes reminded that because of opposition in all things, the joy I will feel one day will be just as powerful, just as strong. And I have had that joy, poured out in great measure. The Lord stretches us, makes us better, and it doesn't feel good. But I have learned over the last few years that I can find joy, even in the midst of terrible pain. And when I can look at life peacefully, even in turmoil, it makes the joyful times that much more resonant.